Saturday, February 11, 2017

We are not the problem; you are. The love stories about our alpha women.

Like, many of our badass female friends, we know our mothers have been amazing partners, friends, and critics. They have also been caring and compassionate humans, as we are capable of many emotions at various times.  And they are fiercely devoted to their partner & children, so much so they loved through sickness, death, addiction, success, and so much more. But, we digress to the true intention of of this “alternative viewpoint article” …
Let’s start where our blood boiled:
Every relationship requires a masculine and a feminine  human energy to thrive. If women people want to find peace with people men, they must first find peace with themself, find their feminine that is where their the real power lies. Also, never in the history of telling people  what to do, have people enjoyed that.

We have never used the term 'Alpha Female' to describe ourselves, but now we will. We will prove you wrong about your perception of 'Alpha Females' with a fierceness until any other. Having strong, independent, and quintessential alpha people in our lives is the only way we have survived. Especially, quintessential alpha women. These are the women who stand up for what is right, against what is wrong, the uncomfortable, the demeaning, the heteronormitative, the misgongistist, the Eurocentrism (white focused), the Christocentric etc. -- many problems in our “society” and many identities once again pushed to the side.

Our lives are full of 'Alpha Females' by that definition.  Our friend who is a CEO of THREE companies, our friend that is frequently asked to be a facilitator for men's groups to teach them about leadership, our friend that spends her time professionally speaking to women's groups and empowering them to be their best, our friend who runs one of the most taxing functional areas on a college campus while pursuing a PhD, our friend that reads any book she can get her hands on and works to help others be more educated, our friend who is awaiting her first child while not missing a beat working full time, our friend that started a new job less than a year ago and has already become amazingly successful in her role, our friend who works in insurance- one of the most male saturated industries, is the VP of her firm, and our friend who works in finance has been promoted five times in at the same company, ahead of the men.
Some of these women are married, some are not, some have kids, some do not but one thing is consistent, they are not defined by the men in their lives.

Women have and should be groomed to be leaders, rather than wives. Why should a woman’s worth be measured by becoming a wife? And to help a sister case you have not read a newspaper or watched a newscast, outside of Fox News or Breitbart News in a while or EVER, let us help you understand why we need women leaders…

Women are almost half of the workforce. They are equal, if not main, breadwinner in four out of ten families. They receive more college and graduate degrees than men. Yet, on average, women continue to hear considerably less than men. In 2015, female full-time workers made only 80 cents for every dollar earned by men, a gender gap of 20 percent. We earn less in virtually every single occupation for which there is sufficient earnings data for both men and women to calculate an earnings ratio.

We will not be defined by our romantic or sexual relationships with men. We will not make ourselves seem small or meek. We will not lessen our accomplishments to make men feel better so they think they have more power. We would rather spend our lives surrounded by strong powerful female friends than ever be in a partnership that doesn't allow us to soar and thrive.

Your Twitter profile states: Pro- women, Pro-men, Pro-family, Ergo, not a feminist...odd, but not surprising as you have probably only thought about defined and dualistic gender roles. 
We can’t imagine being Pro-women, as you stated, but not caring about the pay gap for women. However, it is not surprising, because then you go on and state, all a good man wants is for his wife to be happy, and he will go to great lengths to make it happen- wellllll, we want to be paid and respected like our male counterparts, but here is the thing, we actually need all the good men fighting alongside us, this is how equity and equality is ultimately reached. 

But it isn’t about the money; it is about giving and receiving 100% from all people in any relationship because, relationships aren't 50/50, they don't have roles or parts to play. The people, especially women, need to find and believe in their self-worth. And finally, to the men that love us; share your story, tell us why your alpha woman makes you proud, why your alpha woman needs to be a leader and why your alpha woman being the breadwinner does not affect your “masculinity.” Because Suzanne, bless your heart,  the real article should be about redefining masculinity, because how you describe it, that masculinity is toxic, and that is the real problem with "society." 

[sub text: our friendships are stronger and healthier than your marriage.]


Helen  & Sarah